Husband and Wife Joke

Dear Wife:

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don’t try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to Western Australia together! Have a great life!

The wife replied….

Dear Ex-Husband –

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was “You look just like a girl!” Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment . And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.

I think the last part is a bit too much though and has ruined the joke :D Whad do you think?

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  • Ben

    hahaha LOL funny joke man, wonder who wrote this. it’d be even funnier if this was true. the last bit was alright, but not as good compared to the rest. LOL

  • Learn2Flash

    HAHA nice one, but i thought this was a technology blog…but still funny =D

    Learn2Flashs last blog post..How To: Create Realistic Candle Effect (Part I)

  • r1ooooo

    I’ve heard this jokes more than three times, but it always makes me laugh..

    r1ooooos last blog post..Premier League Week 2 Round-Up

  • Corey Freeman

    No lie, that was pretty hilarious! I think the last bit was alright. It’s funny with or without.

    Corey Freemans last blog post..Epiphanies and Such

  • Michael Aulia

    @Learn2Flash: Well I try to throw in a joke or two during the weekend when I find good ones :)

    It defeats the boringness of techie stuffs once a while

  • Richard McLaughlin

    wonderful joke.

    my x left me for another, then he left her to go back to his wife. Divorce is great that way.

  • rjani

    Great joke :D
    I had no problem with the last one, it was quite short so it didn’t ruin the joke at all
    Although I prefer much shorter jokes, like 5-6 sentences that creates momentum quickly…

  • Feabionsu

    Great joke! Loved it and has never heard it before yet! Not that I look too much for jokes – I read more of those technology blogs, you know! :D

    Feabionsus last blog post..Another Domain Name, Another Chance

  • ameo

    Ouch !!!

  • Quakeboy

    Nice one but,

    what does
    “but my sister Carla was born Carl” mean ?

    Quakeboys last blog post..3 Reasons why online shopping is better

    • http://yahoo hershy

      she was realy born a guy haha get it now :)

  • Nihar

    Nice joke….

    loved it…

    Nihars last blog post..Free Virtual Desktop Manager for Windows – Microsoft

  • Frank Gil

    Great article in Tech blog, :-) I like it!

    Frank Gils last blog post..Who Is The Fastest Text Messager In The World?

  • Michael Aulia

    @Richard: Sorry to hear that :(

    @Quakeboy: That means her real name is not Carla, but Carl. Meaning, she was a “He” :)

  • Deimos Tel`Arin

    Lady boys for the win! :D

  • Lynn

    The last part didn’t ruin the joke at all. It is funny! Received this one too through email from a friend.

    Anyways, visiting u here from webbiestuffs’ place.

  • Michael Aulia

    Good to see you here again, Deimos :)

    As for Lynn, welcome! Hope to see you here more often

  • http://yahoo hershy

    ha this joke is funnnnyyyy realy made me laugh :) n its so funny how this can happen to pepole that dont realy open there eyes to what they have

  • adnim

    i remember hearing this joke quite some time ago. but the version that i heard was a bit different. the wife leaves the husband to run away with his brother. the husband wins the lottery and says thanks to this evidence my lawyer advised me you arent getting a dime. good luck with my brother, knowing him… you might need it

  • http://@GuguNgiba Gugu

    Hahahaha.. Jst 2 prove wat goes around cmes back around en even harder .. N da ls part ws k

  • punith