Husband and Wife Joke

Dear Wife:

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don’t try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to Western Australia together! Have a great life!

The wife replied….

Dear Ex-Husband –

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was “You look just like a girl!” Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment . And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.

I think the last part is a bit too much though and has ruined the joke :D Whad do you think?

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Michael Aulia

Owner, Founder at Craving Tech
A technology enthusiast, blogger, gamer, and reviewer. Proud owner of Craving Tech

Comments

  1. Ben says

    hahaha LOL funny joke man, wonder who wrote this. it’d be even funnier if this was true. the last bit was alright, but not as good compared to the rest. LOL

  2. says

    Great joke :D
    I had no problem with the last one, it was quite short so it didn’t ruin the joke at all
    Although I prefer much shorter jokes, like 5-6 sentences that creates momentum quickly…

  3. says

    The last part didn’t ruin the joke at all. It is funny! Received this one too through email from a friend.

    Anyways, visiting u here from webbiestuffs’ place.

  4. adnim says

    i remember hearing this joke quite some time ago. but the version that i heard was a bit different. the wife leaves the husband to run away with his brother. the husband wins the lottery and says thanks to this evidence my lawyer advised me you arent getting a dime. good luck with my brother, knowing him… you might need it

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